tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64857044734102367322012-02-16T16:36:59.444-05:00kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.comBlogger961100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-80098317297326318662010-07-18T14:27:00.003-04:002010-07-18T14:36:48.027-04:00

It's been a while and I wanted to let you know that I continue to enjoy life and "Carpe Diem" it every day!My latest fun checked off the List = I rented a bicycle and cycled along the Niagara River. From the Falls to almost half way to Fort Erie, I enjoyed the sights and sounds, the people, the Willoughby Museum...people sure are friendly outside of Toronto ;)If I say hello to a stranger in

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-61235494130480672682010-01-27T18:49:00.002-05:002010-01-27T19:00:42.625-05:00

Hi y'all,I've been having a great time this new year...getting through the dark tunnel and blinking at bright lights blaring in my face ;)I notice I'm getting physically stronger, sleeping more "normal" hours and having less sickie days. This past weekend though I had a nasty bout of diarrhea and vomiting, oh so pretty, but today I'm back to normal.I notice also that I don't feel the "need" to

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-22095642894918177472010-01-13T19:01:00.002-05:002010-01-13T19:05:27.989-05:00

It's like cancer snapped its finger and I awoke from a hypnotic haze.Each morning, I want to kiss the floor and dance, arms waving in the air, because I'm alive another day.Highly-defined, blue-rayed and techni-coloured amazement is everywhere.I see colours, vibrant with energy, oozing with anticipation.Food tastes like goodness and joy = I feast like the happy princess that I am.Before you ask

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-49409688748496564812010-01-04T10:58:00.002-05:002010-01-04T11:01:09.242-05:00

I hope you all had a lovely holiday!Mine was great. Lots of friends to see at dinners, parties, fiestas...I am so happy to say goodbye to 2009!!!!Here's to 2010! New starts, fresh new ways, health, happiness, love...what do you want this year? Go for it!Life's too short and it's time to have it all ;)

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-5475946551305486202009-12-18T07:14:00.003-05:002009-12-18T07:41:40.508-05:00

Do you ever have those moments of sheer delight at just sitting still?I woke up early this morning and just lay in bed reflecting on all the good in my life. I recalled a dream last night about having very petty problems to resolve and getting stressed out about them. When I awoke, I remembered other petty problems in my real world and decided it's time to let them all go.Life's too short and hey

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-68545390893783565542009-12-17T16:07:00.003-05:002009-12-17T16:25:54.208-05:00

An awesome book if you're out of treatments and are considered a "survivor": Picking up the Pieces, Moving Forward After Surviving Cancer by Sherri Magee and Kathy Scalzo.A Gilda's Club Toronto support group leader uses this book as a "course", with exercises to do at home and in the group, etc. I couldn't wait to get into the group, so of course I had to go out and buy it right away. Check out

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-68581748438709982132009-12-15T19:24:00.005-05:002009-12-15T19:57:30.932-05:00

Today, a Leaky Writing Group (see link on right side) classmate pointed out the "star" in the word "start". It made me smile. Yup, I'm feeling like a star nowadays!Today is my official 8 month anniversary from diagnosis! Wow, look how far I've come, all I've done...what more have I learnt since my last blog entry about learning? Where do I go from here? What's next? What new and exciting things

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-77333140777171310282009-12-08T22:09:00.002-05:002009-12-08T22:17:52.068-05:00

Every so often I come across some cool sayings. Some inspire me and maybe they'll inspire you too. Life's too short, eh?Present = PossibilitiesPast = LessonsFuture = HopeEvery wall is a door...go ahead and push ;)When you can't help someone who's fallen, you better ensure you never stumble.Great minds discuss ideasAverage minds discuss eventsSmall minds discuss people - Eleanor RooseveltHow does

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-23037339403228082142009-12-05T20:16:00.003-05:002009-12-05T20:35:30.402-05:00

Aren't the holidays tough some times? All the family drama may begin, or past memories come lurching up and you want to run away...as happy as most people say they are during December and January 1st, I think most of us aren't all that happy.It's far too stressful. It's far too complicated.It's just a few dates on a calendar. Come on people, let's lighten up!This year's been tough for me as most

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-35026873251436552902009-11-30T14:30:00.002-05:002009-11-30T14:52:47.523-05:00

Finally, I got a really good night's rest! It feels like it only took seven months ;)It's been tough to find a rhythm. Stress had overtaken my sleep for far too long!Are you finding it hard to sleep too? I got a "helpful hints" pamphlet and have heard strategies from others. Here's a mix of ideas that have worked for me:1. Just before bed, forget about caffeine: that includes chocolate and soft

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-69136569226220802972009-11-29T22:10:00.003-05:002009-11-29T22:20:08.369-05:00

Yay, I've got sweat glands again!It might be a tad hard for you to imagine, but I haven't sweated normally from my poor "over-surgerized" armpits in seven months! LOL. I was just relaxing at home, the heat up a bit too much...the next lovely thing I ponder: "wow, maybe my body's getting back to normal starting today?????"I'm happy ;)

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-49106776294891197392009-11-27T19:12:00.002-05:002009-11-27T19:46:35.214-05:00

My radiation technicians gave me the Princess Margaret Hospital's guidebook for breast cancer survivors: "Getting Back on Track, Life After Treatment". As I read through it, I see that I'm not depressed = phew good to know The experts say it's normal to feel fatigued and worried about the future = oh good I'm "normal", lol ;)I'm an entirely different person now and it will take some getting used

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-10446339976845283712009-11-26T12:28:00.003-05:002009-11-26T12:50:42.834-05:00

Today is the first day in a long while when I've slept in, done nothing, gone nowhere and plan to sit at home the rest of the day and do nothing and go nowhere!It's such a relaxing day. It also feels like a new beginning.The active treatments are over and done with. Now what?I've had my worries about taking tamoxifen for five years. Happily, today I found information about some good points for

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-68016331871634643312009-11-24T16:03:00.003-05:002009-11-24T16:18:17.328-05:00

I am so happy to report that this morning was my last day of radiation treatments, woohoo!!!! I got a swine flu shot at the hospital today too, just for fun ;)I've officially joined the ranks of "cancer survivor" now and can get on with my life without active treatments at the hospital. What a relief! These past seven months have been a constant barrage of doctors, nurses, appointments, pain,

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-88893069863512920592009-11-05T22:03:00.002-05:002009-11-05T22:25:05.049-05:00

Tonight's radiation took a grand total of 20 minutes! That's a new record! Usually, I'm stuck waiting, pacing, waiting, doing puzzles and finally out of there in about an hour.Tonight, I celebrate the 12th session out of 25! I'm halfway there! I'm getting closer to the finish line! The sunburn has begun, yikes, the aloe vera is being slathered on, tons of moisturing Aveeno lotion too, lots of

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-38674192923856819062009-10-28T15:01:00.004-04:002009-10-28T15:41:13.438-04:00

I continue to enjoy Caroline Myss' book "Why People Don't Heal and How They Can".I unfortunately continue to meet people who blame themselves for being sick.Unfortunately again, I meet other people who claim to know exactly why I got breast cancer (I was miserable and negative...umm hello, have you met a cheerier person in your life?) and exactly what I have to eat to get well (brown rice that's

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-40771170857991818192009-10-28T14:45:00.002-04:002009-10-28T14:59:51.213-04:00

I read in The Star this past weekend about a very smart man named Richard Holloway. He has written awesome books I want to read, such as "Godless Morality" and "Between the Monster and the Saint". I just love what he has to say:"...if we were more grateful for our own gift of life, we might spend less time interfering in the life of others...I'm glad to be alive, and when I do finally check out.

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-68890130381293416692009-10-21T21:58:00.007-04:002009-10-21T22:13:35.005-04:00

I was nervous, then laughed at myself for imagining the worst. All went smoothly instead.I signed in at reception and while waiting a sweet young volunteer approached me to talk. It was a relief to chat with her since I was letting my imagination run away with me. She kept me grounded and not thinking. Soon an old new buddy from chemo spotted me and we started chatting and the volunteer slinked

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-33794475914370298522009-10-19T15:44:00.005-04:002009-10-24T17:02:19.358-04:00

Well, I'm obviously having far too much fun if I haven't written for ten days ;)Kylie's concert was amazing of course. Friends and family kept on celebrating my birthday with me until the 17th...ten days of celebrating my 45th! I like that!Thank you to all for being so generous, loving, supportive, chatty and kind. It really means a lot to me!I've started a seven week program at Gilda's Club

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-10797308716200155412009-10-09T14:59:00.003-04:002009-10-09T15:08:50.835-04:00

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I got two free tickets to tonight's concert ;)I went to Gilda's Club this morning and one of the staff said they often get donations and here you go Miranda! Wow, I love Kylie and she's a breast cancer survivor too, how poignant for me!

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-3245758611429651902009-10-07T08:46:00.003-04:002009-10-07T09:13:55.398-04:00

Today is my 45th birthday! Let's celebrate!I have so much to be thankful for!Imagine just eight months ago I wondered if I'd even be alive for my 45th birthday!Today is a poignant, thrilling, lovely day for me and I plan to celebrate all week long!I started celebrating on Monday with my mom ;) We went clothes shopping and I helped her pick out some nice outfits. She was like a little happy girl

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-78720317613260105162009-10-01T19:50:00.003-04:002009-10-01T20:01:56.211-04:00

Hello my blog fans ;)It's been quite a ride lately. I'm so glad to have another month behind me and my birthday month to greet me today!My last chemo+accumulation of drugs has really hit me hard this time, no wonder the oncologists say I need a month to recover before radiation. I stayed with friends again this week and got much needed tlc and pampering. At some points, they didn't know what to

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-5153217026308802592009-09-24T20:17:00.003-04:002009-09-26T10:53:59.864-04:00

Hey Torontonians,How about joining me for this supportive fun September 29, 2009 at the corner of Yonge + Eglinton!?The Canadian Cancer Society is putting up a giant wall where celebrities, cancer survivors and passersby can throw paint balloons at the word "cancer.""The colourful assault is meant to symbolize the fight against the disease that has touched the lives of many Canadians. Organizers

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-51366240354680225092009-09-24T20:00:00.003-04:002009-09-24T20:13:23.399-04:00

I just found out that a co-worker has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Sigh.Hey, Universe, no one I know is allowed to get cancer!I'm doing all the recuperating for everyone and that's it, it's supposed to stop here!My heart reaches out to my co-worker. She was so sweet with her supportive words to me during my diagnosis five months ago. THANK YOU! She said all the right things at the right

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-25438701931464284562009-09-23T18:56:00.004-04:002009-09-23T19:25:29.635-04:00

Yesterday, I went to an awesome workshop at Gilda's Club! Julie Devaney is a writer, performer and workshop facilitator who offers a workshop once a month at Gilda's. She led us through a visualization meditation, complete with two lovely songs: The Gulf of Araby sung by Natalie Merchant and Feeling Good by Nina Simone. I have Michael Buble's version of Feeling Good. I got home and played it loud

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-54067264223023681902009-09-23T18:49:00.003-04:002009-09-23T18:55:31.377-04:00

Hooray!It's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Today, was the longest day of chemo...the clock tick tocked slowly; I swear it was going backwards, lol ;)The nurse gave me benadryl first, then the taxotere, in the hopes that that order would avoid any allergic reaction. It worked! I got so sleepy instead, wow, couldn't keep my eyes open, cottonball dry eyes. I

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-10623687319790021812009-09-21T18:16:00.002-04:002009-09-21T18:29:29.667-04:00

True to its name, Camp Renewal has renewed me. I got out of the city and got refreshed by nature! The peace and quiet in the woods, the time to listen to my soul and the time to be with similar kind souls really put it all in perspective for me!I have a lot to be grateful for and I plan to enjoy every moment to the fullest ;)Not to sound morbid...but also to live life as if I had a few moments

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-58157251499602451392009-09-15T15:45:00.006-04:002009-09-15T16:00:40.970-04:00

Wow, isn't it awesome when you feel like you're in the right place at the right time?Today, I arrived early to a workshop at Princess Margaret Hospital and found the last workshop just wrapping up. A very anxious woman was asking the facilitator about chemo and asking how bad it's going to be and...and...and... The facilitator's eyes were full of "help me" stares at me. I smilingly obliged,

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-53150776607321115302009-09-11T21:47:00.003-04:002009-09-11T21:55:36.882-04:00

My friend and I were waiting in the lobby for a movie to begin and a young woman came by very upset, ready to cry, asked if we could check on her if she fainted on the couch...wow, she was stressed.It turns out her mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer. My heart went out to her, gave her a hug, listened to her, and shared my story. She really needed to talk and cry, said it's good to hear of

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-81848830538704749942009-09-09T16:59:00.003-04:002009-09-09T17:22:09.736-04:00

I had so much fun today at a new 8-week Art Therapy group! I'm so grateful for Wellspring and all the work that they're doing for us!I ran into the very first counsellor I met when I first walked into Wellspring back in April. It was amazing to see her after five months because it really reminded me how far I've come so far. I thanked her profusely again today because I had really needed her to

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-30839682702687488852009-09-06T08:53:00.004-04:002009-09-06T09:23:34.689-04:00

The side effects are grating on my nerves, but they're a lot more manageable this time around. The doctor started me earlier this time on the immune boosting self-injections, so I've got my fingers crossed that I'll be balanced earlier. I've been having trouble sleeping at night which doesn't make me too cheery in the daytime, sigh. I've tried naps, but I'm not getting that good ol'-fashioned

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-65894694469818910262009-09-02T19:20:00.003-04:002009-09-02T19:27:51.486-04:00

Caroline Myss "Why People Don't Heal and How They Can" - excellent author and book for me now!pp. 137-139 She asked participants at a workshop the following questions:1. If healing required changing your job, would you do it?2. If healing required moving to another part of the country, would you do it?3. If healing required that you change most of your attitudes toward others and yourself, would

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-86917179130838240312009-09-02T19:03:00.003-04:002009-09-02T19:17:44.822-04:00

A new friend admitted that she's lonely. I got to thinking about her situation, mine and probably everybody's around the world. Aren't we all lonely to some degree?Maybe we haven't admitted it aloud to anybody yet. Maybe we haven't been honest with ourselves. But I'm pretty sure we're all lonely and act it out in different ways.One person could be labelled lonely and desperate as he/she jumps

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-50739540373139616492009-09-02T18:45:00.003-04:002009-09-02T19:00:50.953-04:00

My black panther was in full prowl today! The taxotere began flowing and soon I had a reaction to it. A lump in my stomach as if nausea was going to push out everything in me, but nothing came. Apparently, my cue ball head turned a lovely shade of beet red and orange. A doctor and 3 nurses marched in to do their magic as they sent a friend and my mom out of the room.First, a burning sensation in

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-77799259424774374092009-09-01T16:35:00.004-04:002009-09-01T16:41:33.429-04:00

Here are my swinging hormones doing their happy dance today. Yesterday was the other extreme. Go figure.My buddy took me for a long walk along Harbourfront. We gabbed, laughed and got some good sunny Vitamin D, yay. We enjoyed a salad at Williams Coffeepub, then a coffee and snack at Second Cup. The walking did me good, but at the end phew was I exhausted. I feel like an old lady, lol, trying to

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-41027718746590280102009-08-31T18:42:00.003-04:002009-08-31T18:57:50.739-04:00

Today, I was filled with tons of emotions swinging in one direction or the other. I felt like a pregnant woman on steroids with a twist of menopause. I cried on the streetcar behind my dark sunglasses as I journeyed over to my chiropractor's appointment. I had just finished reading something or other about brave cancer survivors, their ordeals, research still to be done...I'm scared of chemo this

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-43489100229111667202009-08-28T11:30:00.003-04:002009-08-28T11:39:31.903-04:00

While waiting for my appointment, I came across this cool book at the chiro's office.She has this great idea that while making decisions in life, how about asking some better questions to help us make more effective decisions:1. Will this choice propel me to an inspiring future or keep me stuck in the past?2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or short-term gratification?3. Am I

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-55361978650151571012009-08-28T11:14:00.003-04:002009-08-28T11:30:26.709-04:00

On Wednesday, I met with a wonderful Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) doctor! She was born in Toronto of Irish background, studied in Vancouver and China and now has set up shop with her cousin, my fab chiropractor. She had a lot of great advice to give me, along with wonderful acupuncture and craniosacral therapy.Today, I feel like a million bucks because of the visit! I've been getting full

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-72600907261530535862009-08-25T17:20:00.003-04:002009-08-25T17:30:58.218-04:00

Wow, what a difference from last week! I'm out of my funk and back to some sort of normalcy. There's still a long way to go, but these happy moments remind me it's all going to be ok soon enough.I enjoyed another visit to my super-duper chiropractor (www.networkspinalcare.ca). She turns my body into jello and that's a good thing when tension follows me on a daily basis. She can also make me cry

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-2586907903338064472009-08-23T16:26:00.004-04:002009-08-23T16:46:09.946-04:00

Hooray, I've been grossed out for the last time today! Nurse Miranda is putting away her nurse's uniform.The thrush ended yesterday. I can finally speak normally again.I returned home Friday night. I've still got some queasy moments, but they're more manageable. My poor shell of a body is still very delicate and exhausted. Even having a bowel movement requires a lot of energy, time and

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-45849502142312196242009-08-19T22:51:00.002-04:002009-08-19T22:59:11.655-04:00

Today, my white blood cell count was too low and injections have begun.I'm squeamish about any kind of needle, poking, surgery, blood...and here I am now administering my own meds! Who knew I'd be challenging my inner fears to even become my own nurse ;)There is no pain, just a quick injection around the belly button. The meds stimulate the bone marrow and white blood cells get produced, racing

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-5075088961923600562009-08-17T12:06:00.002-04:002009-08-17T12:13:31.991-04:00

Oh crap! Now the real pain begins!You know those little wooden toys with springs? Kids push the bottom button and the entire toy flops down? Like the puppets with no strings?Chemo is that brat kid who keeps pushing the bottom button.I have to take codeine for the muscle pain = upsets my stomach and causes diarrhea (but of course)I have Nystatin drops for thrush in my mouth = swallow the meds and

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-25289479033665219122009-08-16T09:29:00.003-04:002009-08-16T09:45:07.025-04:00

A friend of a friend recently complimented me on my healthy cheeks and my great outlook on life. If it were her, in my situation, she would sit on the couch all day crying and eating bon-bons.My dear readers, I hope that never happens to you. I say YES to bon-bons and NO to the crying part all day. Life's too short to cry all day.Of course, I've cried, still do. I scream, kick, get angry, think

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-64173897700174853762009-08-14T11:48:00.002-04:002009-08-14T14:05:51.421-04:00

Our banter focused on the hilarious "tricky mind". My cheery, fun, new nurse was a pleasure to talk with on Wednesday! Finally, a lovely nurse to nurture/pamper me ;) She was so sweet, philosophizing with me. This new chemo drug could have brought on some odd side effects and I was asking her questions about it all. For all to hear, happy nurse sing-songed: "don't anticipate it, and it won't

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-51383714630952229802009-08-11T12:53:00.003-04:002009-08-11T13:02:20.576-04:00

A few of my friends and I have gone through the painful decision whether to stay with an annoying partner or leave. It's never easy to see that the love bubble has been burst, the romance has gone, that ol' lovin' feelin' ain't there no more (twang of country and western guitar in background).Now that I'm single and out of my own romance dramas, I ponder the question: why would I want to change a

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-84348935347007304572009-08-11T12:43:00.003-04:002009-08-11T12:51:21.287-04:00

Wow, I've gotten to the half-way mark, how time flies when you're having "fun" haI notice today that my mind is playing a lot of tricks on me, screaming silently: don't make me go tomorrow, I don't want chemo, I want a perfect life with no pain, find some other way to make this better, don't give me pain again tomorrow...on and on it goes, getting me a tad anxious.So, I do more meditation and

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-92067290393597379752009-08-10T16:14:00.003-04:002009-08-10T17:06:46.310-04:00

An excellent movie: Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. "The Soloist: A Lost Dream, an Unlikely Friendship, and the Redemptive Power of Music" book written by Steve Lopez.A movie review online: "a moving story of a remarkable bond between a journalist in search of a story and a homeless, classically trained musician".What I got out of the story:1. We can't "fix" anyone - if they are schizophrenic,

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-40977010005879362172009-08-08T21:44:00.002-04:002009-08-08T21:55:30.531-04:00

Today was a fun day to start my writing class! Three hours of learning from the wisest and funniest comedy teacher. I like his style of teaching: relaxed, friendly, unpretentious and witty.I liked challenging myself with the writing exercises!The idea is to "just do it and write" without judgement and let yourself be free. The patterns and themes will appear later. At first, I did notice my inner

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-14452834273812511922009-08-07T18:09:00.002-04:002009-08-07T18:14:56.566-04:00

1. Everybody suffers2. We all want to be happy3. We need to be part of a group or two4. We're never alone5. Our ego plays tricks on us - we CAN control our self-created, self-inflicted negativity6. Some people love to be heard and don't know how to hear7. If you know someone who really hears you, hang on to him/her forever8. Love is all that matters9. Life is uncertain, eat dessert first

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-58298570901784526382009-08-06T15:35:00.010-04:002009-08-30T21:31:09.217-04:00

Today, I began a fascinating 8 week course at Gilda's Club on Buddhism, Greek and Judeo-Christian philosophies as it relates to "The Art of Happiness". Our lecturer is going to walk us through the books: "The Art of Happiness" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama; "Plato's Republic" by, you guessed it, Plato; and the "Holy Bible", written by a few buddies of Jesus.I had enjoyed philosophy in my first

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-12803309122233423592009-08-04T19:10:00.003-04:002009-08-04T19:32:10.152-04:00

I am the luckiest woman in the world because of my friends!They gripe with me on the phone, share stories, compare notes, hang out with me, laugh out loud or stay silent...whatever is right for the moment, that's what we do together.I feel less lonely in this world with my friends. I see that I am not alone with my family drama, health issues and good times...we're all in this together and I

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-59827502683676438312009-08-03T20:58:00.007-04:002009-08-06T16:34:41.137-04:00

Today, friends took me on a spontaneous trip to Port Credit.We started walking through the Rattray Marshes and it felt like paradise, as if we were out in the country. I took photos, sauntered leisurely and enjoyed all the sights and sounds of the great outdoors.Because of my filling tofu pad thai lunch with a lovely co-worker, I suddenly felt an urge to visit the public facilities. For a split

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-7054908298378843002009-08-02T20:09:00.006-04:002009-08-02T20:30:59.617-04:00

A funny thing happened on the way to recovering from cancer...I became friends with my mother.It only took about 24 and a half years to get out of the teenaged rebellious period, to stop blaming her for everything and to start telling her what I need and don't need as an adult. It also took her the same time to realize that I am an adult and maybe it's really an option for her to listen to

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-66845941231092473082009-08-01T21:14:00.002-04:002009-08-01T21:28:52.910-04:00

If you ever need a good laugh, and a good movie night to cheer you up, I highly recommend "Life of Brian". If you've seen it, you'll know why I love the song at the end of it all. Hilarious! It's definitely my way of living each moment of my life to the fullest!Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (from Monty Python)words and music by Eric IdleSome things in life are badThey can really make you

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-16642061747212232852009-07-31T16:41:00.006-04:002009-08-01T01:29:57.591-04:00

So here I am sick as a dog today. I don't know what to eat or not eat. My stomach gets upset by every little bodily function that needs to happen...I won't go into detail. Nausea takes over and I have to consume yet more meds. Sleeplessness at night and sheer exhaustion during the day make for one cranky Miranda.The ironic thing for me in this big picture of my life is that I was perfectly "fine"

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-46141396634457468872009-07-29T17:41:00.011-04:002009-07-30T13:10:28.259-04:00

OK, I've had enough of chemo! All that poking and prodding and wreaking havoc on my body is not fun! Insomniacs Are Us, gas pains, constipation, diarrhea too oh my, along with aches and pains, crampy moods...I want off this rollercoaster ride!Well, OK, I won't quit now, I know I know, it's "helping" me this treatment of torture.I was so nervous today to get my bloodwork done because my white

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-19386793061559397702009-07-27T19:14:00.009-04:002009-08-05T20:10:45.561-04:00

Today was my first fun-filled day of learning how to improv! It's a one week class aimed at teaching me how to be funny and laugh my head off all day long. It's working ;)First things first. I thought I was, but I'm not that funny. I compare myself to all those smart, quick, energetic "kids" and sit in awe of their humour. They are truly hilarious.Even though there was this huge age discrepancy

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-77489027887039179892009-07-25T10:08:00.002-04:002009-07-25T10:25:22.225-04:00

by Dr. Alastair J. Cunninghama senior scientist at the Ontario Cancer Institute, professor of Medical Biophysics and of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto, clinical co-director of the Wellspring Centre...on and on it goes with how intelligent and wonderful this man is!His famous "Healing Journey" (HJ) workshop is a 5-part analysis of "overcoming the crisis of cancer". He gives a no-nonsense

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-87269325478146202192009-07-23T15:57:00.003-04:002009-07-23T16:10:10.640-04:00

Creativity has been missing in my life the last little while.Since being on sick leave since April 2009, I've begun to get back in touch with my "creativity". This blog has been a big help in making me realize how fun it is to write!I've gone to Art Therapy at Wellspring and had an amazing time just drawing whatever and actually letting my inner kid play. I haven't done that in a long time.I

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-34353851724487208662009-07-22T19:52:00.013-04:002009-08-05T20:23:06.749-04:00

Grumpy grump nurse today took care of my blood test and chemo.I told her to use my lower arm because my upper arm still hurts from surgery, and she said crankily: "what about the other upper arm?" "Both boobs are gone" I replied, as if to a stupid person...[can't you see you blind bat and don't you look at your patients as you talk to them and how about checking a file before working on people?]

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-33458856158889793322009-07-21T15:30:00.004-04:002009-07-21T15:51:05.582-04:00

Another wonderful trip to the chiropractor today.If anyone's looking, I highly recommend http://www.networkspinalcare.ca/Spine cards at the reception counter are a fun way to enter the office. I picked yet another card that was so appropriate for my mindset right here and now. What a coincidence!The card I chose: "I lovingly release others to their own lessons. I lovingly care for myself. I move

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-24398253412781312972009-07-20T21:59:00.004-04:002009-07-20T22:20:17.393-04:00

Tonight's meditation class at Wellspring was the best ever for me!I had a revelation while sitting in a blossoming lotus position of deep thought and positivity ;)Our workshop leader had us close our eyes as usual, got us to find a comfortable sitting or laying down position and got us imagining/saying out loud the following to four people:May you live free of pain.May you live free of

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-5139210672057933672009-07-20T02:25:00.002-04:002009-07-20T02:33:56.826-04:00

I can't believe that five months ago I began this hellish journey of a nightmare!Waiting for a diagnosis I didn't want, going through the motions as if in an aquarium of murky waters: not knowing what I was doing in there, not knowing which way was up so that I could breathe, and seeing magnified faces of people tapping on my shell of a trembling, scaly body as they mouthed words I didn't

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-59331379093342651832009-07-19T16:51:00.003-04:002009-07-19T17:08:11.798-04:00

I fondly remember a Chinese quote my Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor told me.It roughly translates as: what happened in my life is now an image in a mirror -- there's nothing there, just a reflection of what was.Pretty deep and useful, isn't it?The idea of not letting the negative past overtake me now is powerful. I certainly need to learn from past mistakes and pain, but I also benefit from

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-23482407363577173402009-07-17T13:10:00.003-04:002009-07-17T13:45:52.427-04:00

Today, I feel almost back to "normal". I did my gentle yoga exercises, the arm workout I need, and even a little bit of dancing around the condo ;)Too bad the third week of good days is soon followed by another punch in the gut of chemo.I start to get anxious right around now...what to pack for the day of visiting the hospital and later staying with friends, what new side effects might occur this

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-35811721395043984802009-07-17T00:59:00.002-04:002009-07-17T01:06:23.848-04:00

...not death.It's to miss life.Meaningful stuff in life is easier to do when one is physically fit, but people still do the meaningful stuff even when they're sick or in a wheelchair. "Sick" does not mean life is purposeless.The pain comes from "unfinished" business which we need to attend to NOW. Don't wait until it's too late. The dying part can be ok. It's the regrets in life, the people we've

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-17002642308209825832009-07-17T00:13:00.004-04:002009-08-01T01:31:32.995-04:00

Cancer told me "that's enough!"It turned my world upside down with hellish events, twists and nightmares.Now my world's turning right side up again. I see the world with freshly painted-on rose-coloured glasses.June 27th was my Happy 2 month anniversary of my double mastectomy! Wow, how time flies when you're having fun!I was a waterfall of tears that morning. Two months ago that day, I had been

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-85259941951308435882009-07-15T09:35:00.004-04:002009-07-20T23:21:14.793-04:00

Lies and illusions are easier to deal with.The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-66085408077608474332009-07-15T09:21:00.002-04:002009-07-15T09:27:45.622-04:00

I've taken a tough circumstance and used it to grow.Now I'm developing into something lovely and fantastic beyond my wildest imaginings.I'm so grateful -- not only for the easy things in my life, but for the tough circumstances as well. They've shaped me into someone amazing. I honor myself.It may appear vain, selfish and conceited to be writing this, but it's written with the most non-conceited

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-90395102057911284942009-07-14T11:50:00.002-04:002009-07-14T11:58:40.865-04:00

Ever have one of those friends who you don't see for ages? Then, one phonecall again starts you in mid-sentence and mid-laughter as if no time has passed between you!I'm one of the lucky ones to have a friend like that.We really care for each other, we've been through lots of pain and laughter together and not even absences break our bond! That's a miracle.I'm so glad I phoned her the other day

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-31717502882159835592009-07-14T11:39:00.003-04:002009-07-14T12:45:27.287-04:00

I see life as a bunch of unknowns: doubts, questions unanswered and answers unquestioned.All I have to go on is ME.And I know a lot!I know what is best for me, what makes me happy and what satisfies my hungers, both physically and emotionally.I will seek out the experts to tell me what will help me and I read what the geniuses have to say...but I have the power to decide what to do with all that

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-86305665921694074882009-07-14T10:19:00.002-04:002009-07-14T11:05:30.235-04:00

Not health nor illness have anything to do with "giving" me happiness or sadness.My happiness comes from within. I'm born with it. We all get it at birth. My soul has it. My inner kid has it. My spiritual side has it. My comic side has it. My cranky side has it.The stuff in the world doesn't give me happiness. Oh sure, people come along and cheer me up, but ultimately I have "let" them come into

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-3996411667143942092009-07-13T11:08:00.002-04:002009-07-13T11:14:38.760-04:00

...it's the only job in the world that lets you work in your pajamas - Simon KinbergThis quote made me laugh out loud with a reality check of why I blog and dream of writing the next hit comedy film, book, play...I really like my pajamas!

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-16346727014454190682009-07-12T09:39:00.007-04:002009-07-12T10:33:32.286-04:00

Let's not give the bad vibes any power over us! Our health is at stake.We always have a choice, a reaction to any event: bad or good emotions.Why not just pick the good emotions? We're adults, we can do anything we want!What's it going to matter later if we pick the negative stuff? Will we look smarter? NO. We'll be dumb, because our health will worsen. I say laugh and love and live like a kid,

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-51523453412008378242009-07-11T22:51:00.003-04:002009-07-11T22:56:41.756-04:00

A Japanese man sat at a nearby park bench and took out his cigarettes.Like a flash, I moved out of the wind's direction. He saw me move over and then he looked at his cigarette. That's right buddy, you hadn't thought of choosing this park bench much further away from me. That would have been too logical I suppose since there were all these options, lots of spaces away from me and all that.Later I

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-55485022069972276772009-07-11T22:49:00.001-04:002009-07-11T22:51:03.526-04:00

Then I must be really scrumptious ;)

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-66377111502158494192009-07-11T22:41:00.002-04:002009-07-11T22:49:05.324-04:00

I try to enjoy each moment. I see and smell those #@!@# flowers I'm supposed to enjoy in the moment.Cancer hovers like an annoying gnat, around my nose, over my head, and buzzing in my ears. I swat at it and just make the gnat more annoyed.I see suffering everywhere:A ghastly pale woman pushes her wheeled cart, so dependent on it for walking, resting a moment, and getting groceries.A Japanese

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-6700708899766794012009-07-11T22:33:00.002-04:002009-07-11T22:40:30.824-04:00

A nerdy woman with glasses and poofy, messy hair did not like her sandwich. She calmly complained to the clerk about how bland it was.The high-maintenance, fully made-up face and hair and shiny clothes-ensembled clerk whined her way to "logically" discuss how no one ever complained before and that the sandwich was in fact delicious. It was hilarious to hear her whine! A kodak/video moment.Of

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-48535443600646031772009-07-11T22:25:00.002-04:002009-07-11T22:33:27.221-04:00

Have you ever loved someone with all your heart and soul?You'd obsess and get depressed at the very thought of losing his/her love.Since learning of the cancer, I've developed quite the love affair with ME.I am my soulmate.I am the one I've been waiting for.I used to chase all those romantic dreams society told me were good to do, ie: to be married... only to find myself painfully divorced twice

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-43723852887006545182009-07-11T11:59:00.004-04:002009-07-11T22:25:43.532-04:00

My osteopath once told me about her staycations: flip the name of Toronto around and you become a tourist of Otnorot!And that's who I've become during my sick leave ;)A lover of Otnorot, a city with so much culture and art, finesse and dirt, smelly garbage bins and raccoons...I wouldn't want to live anywhere else!

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-15683239838841449252009-07-11T11:31:00.003-04:002009-07-11T12:38:12.580-04:00

It's so nice to have them!!!!All I need is a phonecall, email or visit here and there to say they're thinking of me. I call them too as a point of contact to the "real" world. They are the healthy ones and I strive to be just like them again one day real soon!One awesome friend makes me soup and visits. Another makes me soup and delivers it to me during a coffeeshop visit together. Friends get me

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-32437368720305908482009-07-11T11:21:00.003-04:002009-07-11T22:22:31.926-04:00

I'm scared to die of cancer now.I logically know that I have a high rate of survival. Stage II is an early, treatable stage.The surgery was quick and effective. All the tests "prove" cancer hasn't spread anywhere else. Hooray!I want to die when I'm 100. I'll have lived another 55 years, full of joy and health. Having overcome breast cancer, my mind and body will have become even more uber-healthy

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-7307117967513286912009-07-11T11:13:00.002-04:002009-07-11T11:21:02.880-04:00

Somewhere between the week of February 16-20th, 2009 when I learnt I had to redo a mammogram and get an ultrasound on Feb 26th, and up to April 13th, I "lost" it.I scrambled for everything to do with alternative health, medicine, teas, acupuncture, naturopathic meds, positive thinking...I wrote so many "good notes to self" to remind myself to think positively. The only problem was I only thought

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-87179116407877093182009-07-11T10:56:00.004-04:002009-07-11T11:08:19.298-04:00

Again, I highly recommend something...Gilda Radner's legacy is awesome!I remember the first time I walked through the red doors at Gilda's Club (G.C.)A friendly voice buzzed me in, the camera showed her who I was and yet she didn't "bug" me. She left me alone to peruse the table of pamphlets.I saw the red button "Cancer Sucks" and began to cry as if on cue.I sat on the sofa and cried just as a

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-61292239857014311182009-07-11T10:49:00.003-04:002009-07-11T10:56:03.329-04:00

Fate brought me to the library's health section one day where I found Kris Carr's excellent book: CrazySexyCancerTips. If you are living with cancer or know someone who is, I highly, highly recommend her books, videos, online blurbs...she's a true inspiration!

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-77066360160496689682009-07-11T09:49:00.008-04:002009-07-11T10:28:13.517-04:00

10. Tons of money saved on expensive bras that don't fit properly anyways9. No more sweaty bra straps, tight underwiring pinching and general malaise from bras8. Cooler outfits to wear (that don't just emphasize the chest area, as if that's all us women are beautiful for, egads)7. I look more like the lesbian that I am. Perhaps better dates await me...6. Whoever rejects our fickle society's idea

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-12072743518297799892009-07-10T12:40:00.003-04:002009-07-11T10:29:12.716-04:00

Chemo is my friend in the imaginative form of a Black Panther (B.P.)His golden eyes never miss a cell with cancer. With one huge swipe of his majestic black paw, the cancer crumbles into a million grains of toxic sand. B.P.'s red tongue laps it all up and burps are heard around the world. B.P. later goes home and poops it all out!I imagine my body larger than this room. I take up more space than

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-26145207099557147752009-07-10T10:57:00.004-04:002009-07-10T12:38:24.817-04:00

Chemo #1 June 10, 2009 = not fun. The End.The day itself can actually be a hoot. Two elderly volunteers chatter and pamper us with idle talk and so-so sandwiches. Two ice cream cups later of choco-yum-fun, I relaxed in the big comfi armchair.The drugs went in and three hours later I went out at 4:15 p.m. A friend walked me home. At 5 p.m., I turned as white as a ghost and had to nap. Around 7

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-8640134438025446422009-07-10T10:29:00.003-04:002009-07-11T10:28:45.310-04:00

I want some semblance of control in my life.Blogging allows me to control how much or how little I share with the reader. The reader only reads what I want read.I'm blabbing it all to you, but still there are parts you'd rather know more about probably. I'm trying to be as open as possible. It's tough. A person with cancer doesn't always want to talk about it. She/He would love to have the entire

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-53848755649881180822009-07-09T10:11:00.003-04:002009-07-11T10:29:40.212-04:00

I enjoy blogging my story, watching the world go by, drinking water, relaxing...this is life!It's so relaxing to really "see" the world for the first time. I'm at peace!The terror of cancer in me and "what if I die" is now balanced with amazing moments in life!I stand straighter nowadays and can get my arms almost overhead with minimal pain. Hooray!One afternoon I was walking upright, chest out,

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-15376517291700827792009-07-09T09:59:00.006-04:002009-07-11T10:30:05.442-04:00

I had the double mastectomy, with 20 lymph nodes removed, on Monday April 27, 2009. It was a dark, dismal and scary 6 a.m. for me to arrive at the hospital for an 8 a.m. surgery. Generally, I enjoy sleeping in until 8 a.m. and not being cut open.Thank goodness my friend was there with me! She slept over at my place the night before, walked with me to the hospital, waited patiently with me, asked

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-38340560406448691152009-07-09T09:50:00.005-04:002009-07-11T10:30:50.850-04:00

To those supposed "friends" who aren't around for me when I need them most...I got slapped in the face with my own mortality.I needed love and support from the closest people I chose to be my "family" all my life.Some just don't "get it", do they? They're going to die some day too. I'm just one of the lucky ones who got to deal with it early on in life so that she can have a beautiful life

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-14723647707864575172009-07-08T16:26:00.001-04:002009-07-11T10:31:03.653-04:00

The big deal turned out to be two separate tumours, one in each breast, going their own way. I didn't have a clue since I felt no pain. I thought cancer meant pain.Again with taking my health for granted - I ate sensibly, I walked everywhere, cycled like a happy-go-lucky maniac, had fun dancing, laughed a lot in life, had a positive, cheery attitude - oh sure, I had stress in life, but doesn't

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-65712406864204038942009-07-08T16:18:00.000-04:002009-07-08T16:25:46.608-04:00

On April 14, 2009, I cried in the G.P.'s office and on April 15, 2009, I cried in the Breast Clinic at St. Michael's hospital.The surgeon was sweet, a low talker and the nurse was a smiley, sweet, encouraging woman. I got all the pamphlets to read and an idea of all the tests to come before and after the surgery. See ya!I cried as I left the doctor offices. I cried at work as I said good-bye to

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-30400710807592332732009-07-08T16:12:00.001-04:002009-07-11T10:31:37.263-04:00

We were watching an ok play with a cute actress pretending to be a stripper in a Vancouver striptease bar. She was sexy enough as she grinded and swayed, but her boots were the real attraction: black, shiny, towering heels, with laces a yard long.My buddy whispered to me: "Do you want boots like that?" "Yes!" I whispered back with glee. His next joke also made me squeal with hushed laughter: "You

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485704473410236732.post-78911062116723227912009-07-08T16:06:00.002-04:002009-07-13T00:24:52.049-04:00

I dedicate this blog to all my family and friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin! THANK YOU! I appreciate all your love and support!I'm telling my story so that others can laugh with me even as we cry.Cancer can be funny = a great source of wit, wisdom and general self-awakening...if you really dig deep and find your own joy, your own peace and your own reasons for living...

kneadstorelaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00182073095201989527noreply@blogger.com0